“A Mother’s Day Story”
(c) 2004 Christine Louise Hohlbaum
The marble stone is Robin’s egg blue with a black oval on one side. It is egg-shaped, smooth, and cool to the touch. A dear friend gave it to me one hot June day when I thought I had lost the world. In fact, I was certain my life would never be the same. It turns out I was right.

A month earlier I had suffered a miscarriage. It was Mother’s Day 1998 when my first pregnancy ended. As I lay on the emergency room bed at Mount Auburn Hospital in Cambridge, MA, my only thought was “I will never be a mother now. God is so cruel.” The emergency doctor on call had been a midwife before studying for her medical degree. She assured me my pain, both physical and emotional, would soon subside. I did not believe her. Little did I know how my life would alter once again the following Mother’s Day.

My friend placed the stone in my hand and looked me square in the eye. “This stone is a symbol of what is in store for you. Take it. It will give you the strength you need.” My heart felt as heavy as stone for I was certain it would never heal. I took the rock and placed it in my pocket.

Two months later I was pregnant again. When the midwife identified my due date, I gave out a cautious laugh. “May 9, 1999? That is Mother’s Day.” My midwife nodded and assured me the real date of delivery could be two weeks before and beyond the given time. This go around I waited until my fourteenth week to let anyone know our good news. My friend who had given me what I termed the “Robin’s egg” gave me a knowing grin when she greeted me. I chose to tell everyone in person at my niece’s baptism. My sister agreed it was the right forum for sharing the news.

As May 9th approached, we felt giddy with our impending joy. When the first contractions overcame me during a viewing of “Hunt for Red October” on May 8th, I knew the healing of the last Mother’s Day had begun. Ten hours later on May 9th, our little girl, Sophia, took her first breath in this world at Waltham-Deaconess Hospital in Waltham, MA . It was the most empowering experience to watch her emerge from womb to our arms. Mother’s Day has a meaning for me now beyond its usual significance.

Two years later we were overjoyed with news that our second child was on the way. My midwifery practice had changed hospitals. We would be delivering our son at Mount Auburn Hospital, the same place where I had lost my first pregnancy. As Jackson was born, a second healing took place. Mount Auburn was now a place of peace and celebration, no longer a place of sadness and loss for us.

Our lives have taken us away from our Somerville home where we resided for six years. Both children were born in Massachusetts. We now live near Munich, Germany. But the memory of becoming a mother is as strong today as the first Mother’s Day I celebrated.

My children are lively, curious people with a strong will and the ability to communicate it. On any given day, I wonder if I am cut out to be the mother I so longed to be. When a measure of doubt seeps through my brain, I take out the Robin’s egg and place it in my pocket. When my children are shouting for cookies at 8 a.m. or the house is seemingly messy beyond repair, I caress the egg with my hand. It reminds me of my deep desire to do what I do every day. Being a mother is more than labor and delivery. I know that now. My wise friend was right. It does give me the strength I need.


Christine Louise Hohlbaum, American author of Diary of a Mother (2003), SAHM I Am (forthcoming), and "American Housewife Abroad" (AnotherChapter.com), has been published in hundreds of publications. She has appeared on numerous programs including Defining Women, ApPARENTly, Star-Style, WorldTalkRadio, WAHM Talk Radio, the Mom Radio Network, and NPR. She has a BA from Smith College in Political Science and German Literature. From the University of Constance, Germany, she obtained her combined master's degree in International Relations, German and English Literature. When she isn't instructing book marketing seminars, leading playgroups, or tutoring English, she prefers to frolic in the Bavarian countryside with her husband and two children. She invites readers to visit her Web site for more of her writing.