If only I had a brain…..
or a heart or heck even magic shoes then I might be able to fly away from the chaos that awaits me night after night at home…….when the thought of having some wine stowed in my car in a diet pepsi bottle to drink on the way home to relax before I get there…….before the chaos of homework and baths and supper and trying to carry on a conversation with Jeff other then……Me: “Hey, hon?
Jeff: “What hon?
Me: “um, well wait a minute, what Amanda, I am trying to talk to daddy, Matt stop terrorizing your sister, Matt I understand trust me I do but you can’t, NO Matt you can’t call your sister an idiot, yes Matt I know she is driving you apeshit, yet Matt, apeshit is a word, NO you can’t say it Matt, because Matt, it isn’t nice!! Trust me My Mattmatt, the girls drive me apeshit too!!!
Me: “Ummm, forget it hon I dont’ remember what I wanted to talk to you about, oh you want what? Okay, I’ll get it for you hold on, be right there with it……….Amanda and Alexandria STOP your fighting, I don’t care who started it, really I don’t, just stop, please stop!!! I swear I am going to ground you both!!! You know what girls, don’t come get me again unless there is blood, yes Lexie I am searious, very very searious, Amanda again, I don’t care who did what, I don’t want to hear it unless there is blood and I mean a whole lot of it, or a broken bone, one that has preferated the skin, none of those simple broke in two breaks……….
Jeff: “HON, where is ……….”
Me: “Oh, shit! What did you want again?”
Me: “Oh you want supper?” Well, kiss my ass dear kiss my ass” (really I have never said this to Mr. Crazy but I want to, trust me, I do,LOL)
So, anyway, a day in the life of chaos…..If I only had a brain………..